So the other day I reached a pivotal point in my cooking career. I safely, and some might say deliciously, mixed together a concoction of chickpeas, lemon juice, tahini, olive oil, garlic powder, and salt into a middle eastern dish commonly known as hummus.
What makes this event pivotal is it took me nearly two months of preparation to reach this point.
I’ve enjoyed hummus for quite a number of years, and partake in it whenever given the chance, but the idea of making it myself was only recently realized. This cumulative event can all be traced back to one instant, when the ever gracious and thoughtful Denise Amtsbuechler gave our family a container of hummus as a way of thanks for watching over Dylan and Olivia for the day. That stuff was gone by weeks end. One of the particular delights I found was in toasting a bagel, and then spreading the hummus on top, the cool mixing with the warm, and the delightful tang as it made contact with my tongue. The next time we were at the Amtsbuechlers, I implored Denise for the recipe, which she kindly gave me. I don’t need to tell you that I consider Denise to be my second mother now.
I kept that recipe safe and protected for the long dark months leading up to my departure for Japan. I would take it out every now and again, just to make sure it still said “1/4 teaspoon of garlic powder”, and not “1/3″. I had visions of dazzling friends and foreigners alike with this mysteries Arab dish. When I found out that my predecessor was leaving me behind a blender, I almost knelt down and wept for joy.
After arriving, I quickly made plans to start up an independent hummus outlet catering service, and set out to amass the needed ingredients.
The needed ingredients.
I have to admit; one never really sees the flaws in a great plan that always turn out to be the most obvious. After checking several times, I came to the unequivocal conclusion that the ingredients were written completely in English. I also was able to determine that the labels on all the cans here were written undeniably in Japanese. I further surmised that things had different names in Japan from what they were back home. Now this wasn’t such a problem for such items as salt, and olive oil—I already knew how to find those—but then there were items such as chickpeas, garlic powder, and particularly the exotic tahini.
Over the course of a month and a half, I was slowly able to figure out and locate these varies items. I asked friends, I searched through international grocery stores; I did whatever it took. Life without hummus was not an option. The clincher was when on a whim I decided to look up tahini on wikipedia to see if it could offer me some advice, and found that instead it went one step further and actually listed what tahini was in Japanese! Wikipedia, I love you.
Having finally secured all the needed ingredients, I set aside an entire morning to the sacred ritual of hummus making. I had all my little bottles and cans neatly lined up, still gleaming from the polish I had given them the night before. I cleaned off the blender, had a fresh loaf of bread sitting expectantly on the counter, and had a nice classical album playing in the background. I had even that morning spent some time on the internet researching conversions for the recipe in metric units, marking them out on the few measuring cups I had found in the cupboard. My preparations were complete, and with nervous hands I took out the sacred text and read from the first line.
Step 1: Open one (1) can of chickpeas; drain and rinse.
“No problem” I thought to myself as I took the can from it’s place in line, and set it in front of me; my hand meanwhile rummaging in the drawer behind for the needed can opener. Time passed. The shadows on the floor grew long. Children were born, grew old, had mid-life crises and bought new convertibles. And still my hand found no can opener. Something was wrong here. Something was terribly wrong. Who in their right mind doesn’t have a can opener??
The Japanese, that’s who.
You see in Japan, the wonderful country of convenience, all cans are made with pop-top lids. You simply pull the tab, and viola, instant access. Who wants to mess around with a can opener? Unfortunately for me, I had purchased my precious can of chickpeas at the import store, and so it was made in the traditional manner; it’s makers assuming that the ding-dong who bought it also had a can opener handy. How can one be literally so close and yet so far away?
Unfortunately the purchase of a new can opener would have to wait until my next trip into Tokyo, the city of plenty, which as it so happened was this past weekend. While there I bought a fancy new can opener (an import of course, from the UK), and a nifty set of measuring spoons to boot, with both the English and metric units clearly labeled.
On Sunday, at roughly 7:00 in the evening, I made my first batch of hummus—the details of which were recorded in the annuals of the kings.
Tonight I had it again.
And yes, the second batch is already on its way.

